I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize