Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
