it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
