OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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