and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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