toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
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talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
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So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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