youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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