i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
