u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize