dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
