shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
