i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
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Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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