with your own penis?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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