Whoa Z and x make the same sound
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
