is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
