I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
