Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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