I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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