Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
