This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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