i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
