It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
