She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
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keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
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I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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