Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize