Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
