i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
