The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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