the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I have feelings that need drinking.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
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