butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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