You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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