just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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