I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
