hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
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