So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
