Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize