I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
