It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
