I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
