Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
