I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
