His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
