i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
