Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I need to stop coming to work sober
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
