i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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