How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize