In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
