I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I cannot find my penis.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
