I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
