he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
