the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
