I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
