i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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