what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
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And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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