I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
