what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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