garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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