I only kidnapped one of them. chill
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
