3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
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It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
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There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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