My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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