May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
