omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
