It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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