bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
