I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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