dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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