ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
