her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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