I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Oh god it's open bar.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
