maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
