Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
