I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize