Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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